Tuesday Morning

I've been listening to alot of Christina Perri lately, specifically Arms, Penguin, and The Lonely.

I miss Libby. I haven't seen her since my disaster of a Saturday night, when my dad showed up at her door, pissed that I had gone out after my performance. i was so furious the whole way home, resolving to cut but never following through.

Last night I took 2 Nyquil and 2 aleve, around 1:30 am.

I'm so lightheaded the room is spinning.

I ate two biggish slices of thincrust pizza last night: around 240 calories?
I felt so guilty, not because of eating, because I stayed well under my caloric intake limit, but because my mom came home and my dad and I had finished the whole Pizza. It was a really small pizza, but still. I felt horrible, because my mom had a really difficult day, and her neck was really killing her. I've decided that I love my mom more now. She's more on my side than my dad now. My dad used to always be on my side, (I mean yes the abuse but when it came to my mom we were usually on the same page) but now he's just mean. He thinks as long as he doesn't leave permanently, he's an award winning father. He thinks his time is so valuable, I should be lucky he spends so much of it on me. I should be honored he has "descended from on high to mingle with the commoners."
I got that line from The Lion King. *giggles* I'm a dork.

I have this professor, Dr. B for anonymity, who talks so funny. He has certain words that he holds out really long, and other ones that he makes short and choppy. For instance, "Get. With. The. PROGRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!" and he's not really yelling, but projecting, and it's just hilarious. On the bright side, this forces my ADHD riddled mind to pay attention, so I actually learn in his class. Too bad he isn't my Algebra II professor, or my Physics professor, or History, because I could use a better grade in those. He is my Morality professor, not a class I particularly need assistance in, but whatever.

My left collarbone hurts, which is concerning, because I broke my right collarbone, but never my left. A lot hurts, actually. My heart, for one, because I havent seen Libby in forever. Libby I love you to fucking pieces. :)

I had black coffee with about a quarter cup of hot chocolate mixed in this morning: around 130 cals
I'm guestimating.

I feel like I'm going to throw up, and I don't know why.
I want some weed. I havent smoked weed since Friday, and it's killing me. I really want some. I need to chill.
I want a puppy, and my licence.
The second one I'm going to achieve soon, because on Thursday I'm going out for 2 hours with the driving instructor for behind the wheel. I will only have to do 2 more 2 hour lesson things with him, and then the licence is MINEEEE! muahhahahaha! This will be an especially FRIGHTENING halloween. *evil smile*

Dr. B just asked the class if anyone ever snuck into their parents liquor. I was SO CLOSE to raising my hand. That would ruin my quiet, shy, goodytwoshoes reputation I've got going on at this school. The real reason I even GO to private school is because in 8th grade I got kicked out of the Public Schooling System. No one here needs to know that though. Not many people here know about my sexual preferences, either, because this is a Catholic school, and not many catholics agree with anything other than heterosexuality.

Dr. B uses too many Hitler, WWII, and Holocaust references for my taste, which is why I stopped being a member of his Philosophy club. NOT. ALL. GERMANS. WERE. NAZI'S. I'm German. Am I going around shooting up all the Jews in this school? No. I'm not. You know why? Because MY family was part of the large section of Germans who were HIDING the Jews, and secretly forming resistances. THOSE type of Germans were EVERYWHERE. But do we ever hear about THEM?! nooooooooooooooooo.

Sorry, it pisses me off. Mexicans and whites aren't the only ones who get racism thrown at them.

G2g try to sing on a throat thats sore from puking, ttyl.