Thinking

Who would I be if I did what I wanted?
Who am I now?
Am I a total fake?
If I do things just so I don't hurt people, I just hurt other people.
And myself. Not that I matter.

Major binge weekend, because I was staying at my grandma's house. I want to move in permanently, but the only thing stopping me is the fact that I eat so much when I'm there. Normally I feel like when people think I should eat, I don't, and when they think I shouldn't, I do. I think it's my inner rebel. But at my grandma's, it's different. At her house, she offers, and I accept because I dont want her to feel bad. Plus, she has all of my favorite food at her house. On Sunday before my parents came home we went grocery shopping, and I found myself acting like a little kid, and begging her for candy. If I ever need rehab, thats where I'll go.

Wow morgan. stop talking about yourself. move the fuck on.

So I gained alot of weight. I'm back at 108 what the fuck. I hate myself. Oh well. It's always darkest before the dawn. On the bright side, HALLOWEEN A WEEK FROM TODAY! Fuck I love Halloween. Even if it is all about candy. I don't have to EAT any...
Halloween is my FAVORITE holiday, because I get to be creepy and slutty and am rewarded for it with candy :P Way to go parents, it's a right of passage, blah blah blah, fuck that, I wanna wear a corset and run around getting paid for it. Everyone's a porn star on Halloween.