Poems of an Insomniac

I don't deserve anything.
I am a low down, dirty rotten, filthy whore.
I am fat.
I am worthless.
I am lost.
I am worth something to some people.
I am only a few pounds away from my goal.
I am in a committed relationship.
I deserve everything I get.

I love Libby Elaina Johnson.
I hate my nose.
I love my eyes.
I hate my toes.
I miss my brother.
I won't miss this town.
I miss my grandpa.
I don't miss his frown.
I want to be happy.
I don't want to be sad.
I want my daddy to love me.
Is that so bad?

Sleep evades my poisoned mind
Like wind scattering leaves
I walk these abandoned streets trying to find
A house without blood dripping off of the eaves
Each household
will hold
a secret of darkness and damp and decay
to keep them from seeming socially corrupt
a truth that shall never see the light of day
causing their children to just give up.

The world is finally spinning
In the right direction
No longer do I need to glance over my shoulder
I finally can smile and no longer need tears
Everything feels right for once
I swear I can't stop this contagious smile
From overtaking me
I love the elated emotion that courses through my veins
I am finally happy
Finally happy
And you know it's because of her
She's the best thing that could happen to me
I just smile and smile and smile
I can't stop
Why should I?
My life has taken a turn for the better
I couldn't be happier.

Music blasting
Tunes swirling around me
Drunk on words and ecstasy
I stand surrounded by these screaming mute words
And my ears have gone deaf
They couldn´t stand hearing
Seeing
Feeling
What we´ve become




Taste my flesh
Come on then
It´s what you´re here for
Don´t you think I see it in your eyes?
How the greed is glowing green
Tear my clothes off
My mind has already shut down
No need for respect
Bite my tongue, cut me open
Hit me, dissect me,
I´m already dead
It doesn´t matter any longer



Fire trembling up my spine
Like your fingers touching my chest
It still scolds
Even if am stone cold
Dead and gone
I can still feel
the fire
I can still hear
Untrue words
You´re casting, cursing, shouting
Crawling into my ears
Even though I can no longer hear



Bone pipes
That will crack
Bloodstains
That I can´t erase
Tunes still overwhelming
They try to warn
Try to make me scream
But my lips won´t open
It´s too late
This is the final battle and the final disgrace
Where I will lose and they win



Holds me
Just another fight cracking my bone
Loves me
Just another light blown out by you
So I won´t see the evil deed you will do
Hugs me
Just another evil word slapped into my face
Affects me
Just another touch
That drives me to the edge of my last sanity
Kisses me
Just another ignored cry in the end of the night
Rape me then
If it what you all so dearly wish to do
But never again
Tell me you love me
There I draw the line



You tear me apart like a saw
Through my skin erasing your crime
Reaching for my vein
Clutching at the sight of muscle and tendons
You´ve reached the bone marrow
It´s seeping through
So slowly reaching the floor
As my body smashing into filth and dirt
Taking one last dirty inhale and I can feel how it all just crashes
How my eyes have stopped searching for a way out
How my brain has stopped thinking that it´s what I deserve
And my hands doesn´t shiver anymore
Are you sure am still alive?



Tunes dancing all around
Their feet hits a chin covered in saliva and blood
They stop and take a glance on what´s below
Pretty marble eyes staring stiff at a dirty bag
Ugly ribs covered in new slashes
Beautiful sharp black nails with white cracks in them
Fake silver chain have been ripped apart
White powder staining the emaciated body
They stare in wonder for a moment
Just before they keep on dancing
And start singing the song
About the child whose childhood you stole
And therefore it didn´t know
That it´s common sense
To not accept
Sweet candy hearts from a stranger

my head itches.
this isnt a poem, bitches :P

on top of old SMOOOOOOKEEEEEEEEE all covered with jizz.......... yeah i dont know. my laptop is bein wonky.
if i open a restaurant, ill call it FuckMyself. So people can be all "where you going?" "oh, im going down the road to FuckMyself"

I'm so fucking tired.
All I want to do is sleep, and all I want for Christmas is my two front teeth and a big bowl of Libby.

I sound like I'm high. (I am. high as a kite)

Smokin' Peace, its what failures like me do on a Sunday night when they are losing one of their best friends to the Marines. :(

I hardcore binged today, which is bad since tomorrow (technically today) is halloween, where there will be thousands of temptations. but honestly, candy sounds disgusting right now. all I really want is water. I cant remember the last time I drank water. All I've had the past week is soda and energy drinks. and tea.

Peace, Love, Herb

"I need some sleep,
tomorrow I have things to do.
But everytime I close my eyes I see your face
so I try to read
but all I do is lose my place"
- Obsessed, Miley Cyrus