So yesterday was my grandma’s birthday, and we had a birthday party last night. I ate over 3,000 calories, because it was food from Olive Garden. Then my aunt brought out desserts from Kneaders. I ate a cannoli, because I had always wanted to try one. Then, I got a giant chocolate éclair. When I sat back down, the man sitting next to me, an elderly gentleman, one of my Grandma’s friends, said, “have you ever heard the saying ‘a moment on the lips, forever on the hips’ Morgan?” I tried to laugh and blow it off, and ate the éclair out of spite, to show that I paid no heed to his comment. That’s actually one of my favorite Thinspo quotes.
My friends would be proud; I didn’t purge or use laxatives or overexcercise.
I felt so guilty this morning, I ate two bites of oatmeal and flushed the rest down the toilet.
I keep sitting in the choir room for lunch. I just can’t bring myself to face the cafeteria. The cafeteria is a disgusting place, filled with overweight people gorging themselves. Then they sit and whine about their stomach hurting, or whatever else is bothering them that are obviously side effects of eating.
Plus, the temptation would be unbearable. I was much stronger last year, when I sat and refused any food. Now, sitting in the choir room with Sarah, she’s only one person, with only one little sandwich, and yet I can hardly handle it. If I was surrounded by people eating, I don’t think I could stand it.
I’ve forgotten all the excuses for not eating. I’m out of practice, and I don’t think I can get back into the swing of things any time soon. I hate the embarrassment of the cafeteria anyway. What if I can’t find them?
We have mass after this class, and I’m singing in the choir. I really should stop singing and get my throat looked at, but music is the only thing keeping me going right now, since I haven’t seen Patrick in almost a week, and I barely saw my girlfriend this weekend. I hang out with my friend Kristin a lot, but even then, I have my mask on. I don’t know if im going to ever open up. I did once, and it came back and bit me in the ass.
time to go to mass and stop thinking.
My friends would be proud; I didn’t purge or use laxatives or overexcercise.
I felt so guilty this morning, I ate two bites of oatmeal and flushed the rest down the toilet.
I keep sitting in the choir room for lunch. I just can’t bring myself to face the cafeteria. The cafeteria is a disgusting place, filled with overweight people gorging themselves. Then they sit and whine about their stomach hurting, or whatever else is bothering them that are obviously side effects of eating.
Plus, the temptation would be unbearable. I was much stronger last year, when I sat and refused any food. Now, sitting in the choir room with Sarah, she’s only one person, with only one little sandwich, and yet I can hardly handle it. If I was surrounded by people eating, I don’t think I could stand it.
I’ve forgotten all the excuses for not eating. I’m out of practice, and I don’t think I can get back into the swing of things any time soon. I hate the embarrassment of the cafeteria anyway. What if I can’t find them?
We have mass after this class, and I’m singing in the choir. I really should stop singing and get my throat looked at, but music is the only thing keeping me going right now, since I haven’t seen Patrick in almost a week, and I barely saw my girlfriend this weekend. I hang out with my friend Kristin a lot, but even then, I have my mask on. I don’t know if im going to ever open up. I did once, and it came back and bit me in the ass.
time to go to mass and stop thinking.
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