My girlfriend and I aren’t having an easy time of it. I’m really confused right now, because she was angry yesterday, and I don’t even know if we are still together. I think if it’s going to be this much drama… I don’t know. I don’t really have an opinion at this point. I just want to know what’s going on.

I’m losing weight. I’m doing really well. Sort of. I can see the difference on my stomach, and now I’ve got maybe a centimeter between my thighs. When I stand up straight, my stomach isn’t just thickness anymore. It’s just ribs, hip bones, abs, and empty spaces. I have too many bruises to count. I wish someone cared…

I think my ribs are broken.

They feel broken.

And my toe, I hurt it on the doorframe last night.

I miss my ex.

I’m going to cut when I get home. Not because anything sucks, or I’m sad, but because I need it. Believe it or not, even though I seem really depressed lately, I’m happy, because I started listening to a band lately, and I’ve fallen in love. Never Shout Never. I walk around singing their songs, and all I listen to at home is them. J

They make me happier.

My friend Stephen wants me to sit with him and his friends at lunch today, but if I sit there, I’m at risk for them to notice me not eating, and I’m also tempted to eat. It’s a lose lose situation. I don’t know what to do. I’m falling asleep just sitting here… I’m so tired all the time lately, and I can’t fall asleep anymore. I just want to go home and sleep.

And you could move on with your whole life
Just like you do
Just like you doo-do-do-doo-too
and you could make everything alright
and i want you too
‘Cause ever since the first dance all I thought about was lovin’ on you!