I wrote this a long time ago...
Please excuse my excess use of poetic language today, I’m not myself.
Today is Beautiful. The fog, settling itself down upon the town like a mother bird settles herself upon the nest, but that sounds too loving. Like a dragon curls itself up to wait for prey, scales rustling, puffs of smoke curling from its nostrils.
The fog settles on this town like a disease, like a suffocating blanket, seemingly comforting at first with your head under the covers, until you cannot breathe. Except you cannot throw the covers back and escape, you just have to endure. Or die.
The weather reminds me of the movie The Mist. If you haven’t seen that movie, I’m not going to explain. Just go and rent and watch it. Seriously, it changed my life.
Any who, so I had hot chocolate this morning along with my ten usual pills. Im so tired of taking pills. Ugh. I wish I was good enough without them.
I take:
· 5 Concerta:
o Three 36 mgs and two 15 mgs
o For ADHD
· 2 Zoloft
o Two 36 mgs
o For OCD
· 1 Lithium
o 15 mg because not only is it strong, it’s a poison. This stuff is in batteries.
o For Bipolar Disorder
· 2 Topamax
o Two 15 mgs
o For Bipolar Disorder
Yeah, plus some vitamins and such… LI’m convinced that God hates me sometimes.
The sky looks lonely without the blue
And I’m so lonely without you
The world is grey,
The color gone,
And without you,
I can’t go on.
My eyes are closed,
They cannot see,
And yet life’s right in front of me.
The sky is grey,
And lonely too,
Yet mine is blue when I’m with you.
The world is finally spinning
In the right direction
No longer do I need to glance over my shoulder
I finally can smile and no longer need tears
Everything feels right for once
I swear I can't stop this contagious smile
From overtaking me
I love the elated emotion that courses through my veins
I am finally happy
Finally happy
And you know it's because of her
She's the best thing that could happen to me
I just smile and smile and smile
I can't stop
Why should I?
My life has taken a turn for the better
I couldn't be happier
My hair is ridiculously frizzy and disgusting today, due both to the humid, wet, foggy air, and the fact that I was too lazy to try today. It’s quite comical, seeing as last night it was so gorgeously curly, like it used to be. I wish I had super long hair, like… at least down to my ass, then I’ll be happy. Well, I mean, I’ll still be fat, but at least it can hide me more.
I wish it was Christmas break already. I still need to Christmas shop. Shop till you drop. Do do a dollop of daisy. Daisy daisy, give me your answer do. I’m half crazy over the likes of you. It won’t be a stylish marriage. I can’t afford a carriage. But you’ll look sweet upon the seat of a bicycle built for two. Two of a kind two of a kind, yeah yeah yeah. I am in misery; there ain’t no body who can comfort me. Oh yeah, girl you really got me bad. You really got me bad. I’m gonna get you back, I’m gonna get you back.
“You say that you love rain, but you open your umbrella when it rains… you say that you love the sun, but you find a shadow spot when the sun shines… you say that you love the wind, but you close your window when the wind blows… this is why I am afraid; you say that you love me too.”
- William Shakespeare
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