All My Friends Say (my version)

I got smoke in my hair
My clothes thrown everywhere
Woke up in someones rockin' chair
Holdin' a beer in my hand
Sportin' a neon tan

My stereo cranked up
I can't find my truck
How'd I get here from the club
Don't have a clue what went down
So I started callin' around

And all my friends say
I started shootin' up
When you walked in
All my friends say
I went a little crazy
Seeing you with him

You know I don't remember a thing
But they say I gave up stayin' clean
I was a rock star, party hard
Gettin' over you cocaine kid
Hey I musta did
What all my friends say
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I found my wallet
I cried when i looked at it
Guess my dealer found me
Now I'm broke
But it was worth blowin' $65
Yeah, girl, I musta got really high

Cuz all my friends say
I started shootin' up 
When you walked in
All my friends say
I went a little crazy
Seein' you with him

You know I don't remember a thing
But they say I gave up stayin' clean
I was a rock star, party hard
Gettin' over you cocaine kid
Hey I musta did
What all my friends say
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I was Lindsay snortin'
Off the bar
Workin' the crowd
Carvin' out my heart

Comparisons Are Easily Made

I always compare myself to my brother. He always got straight A's, the prettiest girls, the sports scholarships. He gets along perfectly with my parents, and my parents treat him with love and respect. He's a fantastic older brother, and is very protective of me. He went on to get accepted to a college with a 17% acceptance rate, The Air Force Academy. I can't even graduate high school. I'm not the only one to make this comparison, either. My parents, other parents, teachers, and even friends have asked me why I'm not more like him. I wish I was.

Better

Sometimes I just need to look at myself logistically. I mean yes I miss the security blanket of my disease, how it made everything I did focused toward one goal even if it wasn't a healthy goal, but just the same, I don't miss the distance it put between myself and my peers. Plus, I have someone who loves me just the way I am. 

On a darker note, I did cocaine again last night. I really didn't think I was ever going to do it again, but here I am, with about the zillionth nosebleed of the day. I still have some left over too...

I'm going to sell it and buy some gauges instead. 
I love you, Boyfriend. :D

Hot Tottie

I'm really sick, and this is really the only thing that helps me. No, this doesn't count as breaking sobriety. The 12 lines of coke I'm about to do, though...

Slipping Through My Fingers

I'm having a bit of a relapse. I'm dating a guy named Casey, who is rather large and muscular, so I feel that I need to look tiny in comparison. I b/ped on valentines candy all day today, and squeezed my ass into my old shorts. Other than the b/ping today, I've been slowly cutting down on my intake since Valentines Day, which is when we started dating. So far, little progress.
Today's Thinspo:

Rehab

Rehab changed me. I want my story to change the lives of others. When I'm famous, I want to start an organization to financially aid girls in rehab and therapy.
I eat now, and it makes me happy. Sometimes its hard; sometimes I feel fat, but I love the taste of a good bean and cheese burrito with salsa, and I don't add the salsa to punish myself anymore. Yes, I occasionally smoke weed, and yes, I smoke cigarettes every day, but I don't cut anymore and I try really hard every day.
I hope my success story can reach others.
Rehab changed me. I don't mean this as in it made me want to be sober, or want to be better, but it made me realize that I NEED to be.

it's ALIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEVEE

i didn't die. i went to rehab :)